Brad Paisley, Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday Lyrics

Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday Lyrics

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Brad Paisley - Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday Lyrics


And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos

Well, itís a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If youíre easily offended well thatís okay
Itís a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.

How Ďbout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.

Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thy branchesÖ

Why am I getting blipped again?
Havenít you heard guys? You canít say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I canít say Chri-biip-mas?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.

Iíll lead this off.

On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love sent to meÖ

Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You canít say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
You can say biiiip on the last record.
Why canít I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didnít make the rules.
Hey listen guys, itís not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say
Iím dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get blipped?
Youíve got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, Iím dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that wonít offend anybody.

Well, itís a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If youíre easily offended well thatís okay

Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?

Itís a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

Iím just trying to come up with a song here.
Letís sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
Iím ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!

We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts weíve traveled really farÖ.

Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.
I've gotta get hyped up for this,

We three kings of Asia areÖ.

That sounds like horse biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How Ďbout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you canít say drummer Ďcause that will offend real musicians.

How Ďbout little Ėhahaha- town of Bethlehem?
Whatís this with all the short jokes?

Hey how Ďbout we do Silent Night?
No, 'Cause it offends people hard of hearin' and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?

This happens every year.

Well, itís a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say,
If youíre easily offended well thatís okay,
Itís a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Hohoho!
No.
I canít say ho?
No you might offend some women.
So basically we canít sing anything?

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer George itís more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
You now what? I donít care who we offend,
Iím gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder Bill itís more effective.
I donít care who we offend,
Iím gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas,
we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.

you canít say new; itíll offend the old folks.
And you better not offend them.
Us.
Yeeaahhh

[Thanks to Georg for lyrics]


[Thanks to Tex for corrections]


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