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Jingle Bells Batman Smells lyrics - Steven Wilson

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In Gotham you can hear the sound of Christmas cheer,
But Batman’s found no friends around, no one will come near.
Everybody knows he doesn’t wash his clothes,
With smelly socks and stinky jocks, Batman’s on the nose.

Oh, Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin flew away,
Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away, hey.
Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin flew away,
Batmobile lost a wheel, oh Happy Christmas Day.

Batman says “Let’s go.” Robin says “No, no.”
“If you don’t wash your socks by gosh they’re gonna start to grow”
It’s no dynamic deal, your bouquet lacks appeal,
I can’t abide the smell inside your yuletide batmobile.”

Dashing through the night in three wheeled ‘batmo trike’.
Batman looks for Gotham crooks, the smell will win the fight.
The Joker he then spies, takes him by surprise,
Zap! Kapow! with BO now the Joker chokes and dies.

Santa in a trice arrives with good advice,
“For Christmas Batman from this Fatman, a gallon of Old Spice.”
Rudolf gives a scream, “My nose is turning green.
Can someone try to teach this guy some personal hygiene.”

Batman sees no hope, Dynamic Duo broke,
But back at cave the day is saved, there’s Santa with the soap.
Robin’s got the hose, Santa peg on nose.
They scrub hero from head to toe, he’s smelling like a rose.

[Thanks to Steve Wilson for lyrics]

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