G                 C9
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
G                C9
At our Christmas party
G                Em
We were drinkin' champagne punch
    C           D
And homemade eggnog
G                         C9
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
G        C9
He was a Mexican
G                      Em
We didn't know what to think of him
        C              D
'Til he sang Feliz Navidad
          G
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
>From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stero plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

CHORUS:

D
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
C
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
D
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
C
We need some ice and an extention cord
D
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
C
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
G               Em
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
C                        D   G
Merry Christmas from the family


Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night

CHORUS:

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Dite Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Feliz Navidad.

Here's how he plays the song on the album..

  G         C9         G         C9
E|--3-----3---3-----3-|--3-----3---3-----3-|
B|--3-----3---3-----3-|--3-----3---3-----3-|
G|--0-----0---0-----0-|--0-----0---0-----0-|
D|--0-----0---0-0^2---|--0-----0---0-0^2---|
A|--2-0^2---3---------|--2-0^2---3---------|
E|3-------------------|3-------------------|

  G       Em       C       D
E|--3---3---0-0-0-|--0-0-0---2-2-2-|
B|--3---3---0-0-0-|--1-1-1---3-3-3-|
G|--0---0---0-0-0-|--0-0-0---2-2-2-|
D|--0---0---2-2-2-|--2-2-2-0-------|
A|--2---2---2-2-2-|3---------------|
E|3---2---0-------|----------------|