They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore
(Words and Music by Kinky Friedman)
Recorded byKinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys
****Warning****
Some people may find the lyrics offensive.
Intro
G C D G
Well a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin' Lone Star beer
G C D G
Talkin' religion and a-politics for all the world to hear
G C
"They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one,
D G
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God's only son"
1st Verse
G C
I said "has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not very nice?
D G
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus who killed Jesus Christ"
G C
"You know you don't look Jewish," he said, "Near as I could figure"
D G
"I had you lamped for a slightly anaemic, well-dressed country n****r"
Chorus
G D7
Now they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
D7 C G
They don't turn the other cheek the way they done before
G C
He started into shouting and a spitting on the floor
G D G
Lord, they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
2nd Verse
G C
He says, "I ain't a racist, but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we don't need"
D G
"Them n****rs, Jews and Sigma Nus all they ever do is breed"
G C
"Now wops and micks and slopes and spics and spooks are on my list
D (Strum Once)
"And there's one little hebe from the heart of Texas.
Is there anyone I missed?"
3rd Verse
G C
Well I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes
D G
I says "I'm gonna get you, you son of a b***h, you spouting that pack of lies
G C
"If there's one thing I can't abide it's an ethnocentric racist"
D G
"Now you take back that thing you said about Aristitle Onassis"
Chorus
G D7
Now they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
D7 C G
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before
G C
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
G D G
Lord They sure ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
Alright
Instrumental - Chords as for Chorus
Chorus
They ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
Everybody
They ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
They ain't making carpenters who know what nails is for
Well the whole damn place was singing as I strolled right out the door
Lord they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
Oh they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before
Well the whole damn place was singing as I strolled right out the door
Lord they sure ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
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