The Father Of A Boy Named Sue
By Shel Silverstein
rmofle at satx.rr.com
11/20/2005
(Silverstein's speaking voice:)
”Okay… now years ago, I wrote a song named “A Boy Named Sue”, and that was okay and everything,
except then I started to think about it, and I thought, “It is unfair. I am looking at the whole
thing from the poor kid’s point of view. And as I get more older and more fatherly, I begin to
look at things from an old man’s point of view. So… I decided to give the old man equal time.
Okay. Here we go.”
C F
Yeah, I left home when the kid was three, it sure felt good to be fancy free
G C
Though I knew it wasn’t quite the fatherly thing to do
C F
But that kid kept screamin’ and throwin’ up and p**sin’ in his pants til I had enough
G C
So just for revenge I went and named him Sue
It was Gatlinberg in mid July, I was gettin' drunk but gettin' by
Gettin' old and going from bad to worse
When thru the door with an awful scream comes the ugliest queen I’ve ever seen
He says my name is Sue. How do you do? then he hits me with his purse
Now this ain’t the way he tells the tale but he scratched my face with his fingernails
And then he bit my thumb and kicked me with his high-heeled shoe
So I hit him in the nose, and he started to cry and he threw some perfume in my eye
And it sure ain’t easy fightin with a boy named Sue
So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chair and he screamed, “Hey Dad, you mussed my hair!”
And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint
He was spittin' blood. I was spittin teeth and we crashed through the wall and out into the street
A-kickin and gougin' in the mud and the blood and the crème de menthe
Then out of his garter he pulls a gun, I’m about to get shot by my very own son
He’s screamin' about Sigmond Freud and lookin' grim
So I thought fast and I told him some stuff how I named him Sue just to make him tough
And I guess he bought it, cuz now I’m livin' with him
Yeah, he cooks and sews and cleans up the place, he cuts my hair and shaves my face
And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do
And on the nights that I can’t score, well, I can’t tell you anymore
Sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue
Yeah, a son is fun, but it’s a joy to have a boy named Sue
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