Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens
written by C.W. Kalb, Jr.
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On a chicken farm just downstream from Oak Ridge Tennessee
A nuclear reactor leaks some water accidently
What happened next is like a horror story by Ralph Nader
That toxic waste leaked into a brood house incubator
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Inside that chicken coop they always keep the TV on
Said the programs help the chicks to grow, help to keep them calm
As 4 little chickens put that heavy water down their gullets
The kung fu show was on the air and somethin' happened to those pullets
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They began to grow, and grow, with that kung fu show locked in their brains
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That's the only way we can explain
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Teenage mutant kung fu chickens (buck-buck-buck)
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Big as a house strong as the dickens (buck-buck)
Anything they want is easy pickins (buck-buck-buck)
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For teenage mutant kung fu chickens (buck-buck-buck)
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One said his name was Fricassi, the second Cordon Bleu
The third was Catchetori, and the fourth they just called Stew
They could've been dangerous having grown so big on heavy water
But they decided they would live their lives on the side of law and order
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Teenage mutant kung fu roosters (buck-buck)
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Bad guys won't have it easy like they uster (buck-ack)
They come with tai kuando and all the fixins (buck-buck-buck)
They're teenage mutant kung fu chickens (buck-buck-buck)
Yeah, we's just all down there at the barn holdin' the auction
So we wouldn't lose the farm, when all of a sudden these big pullets
With black scarves 'round their fore'ds come over that hill yonder and
Surrounded them bankers, pecked 'em on the heads, dropped 'em like green persimons.
Yeah then they went down there at the bottom 'forty, start scratchin' around like
chickens'd wan' to do, 'fore you know it they'd plowed that whole field ready for plantin'.
Yeah, they saved our farm.
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Teenage mutant kung fu chickens.........
Hey cock-a-doodle dude!